The Nice Girl Syndrome by Beverly Engel

Author:Beverly Engel [Engel, Beverly]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780470579909
Amazon: 0470579900
Publisher: Wiley
Published: 2010-03-21T16:00:00+00:00

Stop Being Gullible and Naive

I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for truth; and truth rewarded me.

—SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR

False belief: If I act innocent and naive, people will take care of me and I won’t have to grow up.

Empowering belief: It feels good to be a grown-up.

This chapter is especially beneficial for Innocents, Enlightened Ones, Prudes

D

ana is very childlike in her mannerisms. She often puts her hand in front of her mouth when she giggles and she frequently

shrugs her shoulders w

hen

asked a question. Because she appears

to be so naive, people tend to take on a teacher role with her, explaining how things work and solving problems for her. All this works fairly well in helping Dana to avoid taking responsibility for herself. But the price she pays is that the same people who help her out also feel they have the right to order her around. She tends to get into emotionally abusive relationships with men who are controllers.

The reality is that Dana is still a child. She still wants someone to take care of her. She plays helpless and dependent so that others will take pity on her and come to her rescue. She refuses to grow up and take responsibility for her own life.

123

124 THE NICE GIRL SYNDROME

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